The "F" Word

FEAR. We all have it. We all try to control it. We all try to hide it.

a diagnosis
your drinking
your eating
a lay off
an affair
a break up
your child struggling in school
a bankruptcy

These things can put us in a state of fear. It’s understandable. We think, “I have to fix this.” “I won’t let this happen.” “I can’t let other’s know this is happening.”

your wedding day
your sobriety
a HUGE contract awarded
your book launch
the promotion you have worked years for
house remodel
becoming a parent
falling in love

These things can cause us to feel fear too. The same tape recorder plays in our head, “I have to….” I won’t….” I can’t….”.

When you are scared, you are scary.

Scary to others, scary to yourself, scary in your responses. We handle fear 3 ways: move away from it (think of a turtle in it’s shell), move towards it (think of a snake), or move against it (think of a bull charging).

I don’t think we need better answers for how to manage, control, eliminate fear. I think we need better questions. Questions that lead us to better understand ourselves, accept that fear is in our DNA, and so is a biological need for connection and belonging. Getting to know who you are when you are afraid (when, not if) is key to leaning in and accepting your fear for what it really is. Your teacher.

Who do you become when you are afraid?

How do you protect yourself?

Who do you call?

What is the bravest thing you can do for yourself when you are afraid?